After his wife had a baby, HollidayTill5 wrote that their in-laws would say hurtful comments about her. They would criticize her for eating meals and for feeling exhausted taking care of her newborn child. Additionally, they would show up unannounced, and claimed they were “bailing out” their daughter. The in-laws implied that the wife couldn’t handle raising her child as well.

HollidayTill5 recently purchased his wife (who was taking time off from work to be a stay-at-home-mom) a Lexus for its safety rating, and claimed his mother-in-law chided, “wow isn’t it nice your husband treats you like a trophy wife when you aren’t even a trophy.” After his in-laws visit, HollidayTill5’s wife is less happy then she was before their arrival.

“I want to ban them from our house until they learn to respect my wife but my wife thinks I’m creating unnecessary drama,” he wrote. “But I cannot raise a family with the energy they bring into our house, [sic] its toxic.”

“I feel like my wife is trapped in an abusive relationship and she can’t control things,” HollidayTill5 lamented. “I think its my place as her husband to step in and put a stop to this [sic] behaviour. It wouldn’t be a permanent ban, just temporary until they are able to apologize and act polite in our house. AITA?”

The verdict? Not the a**hole.

Users sided with the disgruntled husband. “Hard to ‘stir up drama’ when it’s dumped on your front doorstep,” one wrote. “She probably doesn’t even realize it’s an abusive relationship,” another commented about HollidayTill5’s wife. “This isn’t healthy for anyone involved.”

Others agreed, adding that their commentary could affect his child child, AKA their granddaughter. “If your wife puts up with it in front of your child, it will teach your child that what your in laws are doing is okay and, worse, true,” one user noted. “It’s shocking how quickly kids start to internalize and then mimic the things they hear. Your child will absolutely be taking in these words along with the hostile tone. I would talk to your wife about it with the frame of how it will impact your child,” another advised.

Overall, Reddit users felt that opening up a conversation with his in-laws about their behavior is a step in the right direction.