In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA******, Redditor u/AdeptFox3466 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she was forced to choose between a field trip with her daughter and her autistic son’s school play and detailed the heated aftermath of her final decision.

Titled, “[Am I the a******] for backing out on daughter’s trip because disabled son’s play is the same day?” the post has received more than 9,500 upvotes and 3,000 comments since November 10.

“I am a ‘room mother’ at my [neurotypical] daughter’s school,” OP began. “Room mothers do oversight on field trips as available.”

Continuing to explain that she was scheduled to chaperone an upcoming outing, the original poster said she was informed her son will appear in a school play scheduled for the same date, immediately compromising her field trip availability.

“I have a high needs, nonverbal son with autism,” OP wrote. “It turns out his school is doing a play on the same day.

“His regular teacher just started maternity leave and the substitute did not inform us until a few days ago,” OP continued. “If I am not there, my son will not understand why and he will become inconsolable.

“My daughter is angry with me for canceling on her, no matter how much I try to explain,” OP added. “I said I would make it up to her as soon as possible but she’s too upset with me.”

It’s no secret that parenting is difficult, and that raising multiple children at once can feel impossible at times, especially when simultaneous events pull dedicated parents in multiple directions.

“It can be tough for a parent to feel as though they’re disappointing someone if they aren’t there but they may not be able to make it to every single event,” Verywell Mind Editor-in-Chief Amy Morin told Newsweek.

For those with children considered neurodivergent, a non-medical term defined by Verywell Mind as “when someone’s brain processes, learns, and/or behaves differently from what is considered ’typical,’” certain parenting challenges are often magnified.

And while Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data indicates that one in 44 children in the U.S. are identified with autism spectrum disorder, many parents of autistic and other neurodiverse children struggle to allow others in non-home settings to provide sufficient care.

“Parents of neurotypical and neurodivergent children may feel pressure to educate the adults caring for their kids,” Morin told Newsweek. “They may worry that in their absence their child’s behavior or their needs won’t be understood.”

Elevated levels of concern and attention, although frequently necessary, can sometimes cause problems for families with both neurotypical and neurodivergent children: problems that should be handled delicately and with equal sensitivity.

“Parents can validate a child’s feelings when they’re upset that a neurodivergent sibling receives more attention,” Morin said. “Rather than insist it’s not a big deal or tell them they just have to learn to live with it, acknowledge that it’s hard.

Sharon Kaye-O’Connor, licensed clinical social worker and ChoosingTherapy.com expert, also said it’s crucial for parents to include their children in planning processes that might otherwise create conflict.

“With all kids, but especially neurodivergent kids, it can be so helpful to give the child a clear idea of what to expect, or what the plan might be,” Kaye-O’Connor told Newsweek. “If you have to miss an event for one child, can you create a plan to do something else special together, so that they feel like their needs are being met too?”

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors echoed that sentiment and advised the original poster to reconsider treating her daughter as a secondary character whose expectations are subject to change at any time.

“How many times have you canceled plans with your daughter to accommodate your son?” Redditor u/decemberblack wrote in the post’s top comment, which has received more than 38,000 upvotes. “How many times have you canceled plans with your son to accommodate your daughter?”

“How often does OP tell their daughter they need to do ‘x’ independently because son needs their attention[?]” Redditor u/311Tatertots questioned, receiving more than 15,000 upvotes. “I’m wondering if daughter has ever gotten to feel like the priority.”

Redditor u/AggravatingPatient18, whose comment has received more than 13,000 upvotes, offered a similar response.

“I’m guessing here that this prioritization of your son is a regular occurrence and she is told to just suck it up,” they commented. “Do better for your daughter.”

“I understand the predicament you’re in, but I’m sure your daughter is exhausted and I’d be willing to [bet] this isn’t the first time where her brother came first,” Redditor u/IAmAustinCG added. “You committed this to her and now you’re bailing and if this happens often you’re going to eventually lose her.”

Newsweek has reached out to u/AdeptFox3466 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.