In a viral post, u/aitathrowaway109, age 64, explained that she shared a story about her late husband James’ poor DIY skills that left her daughter-in-law Sarah, 35, in floods of tears.

The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development said that 9 percent of men and about 11 percent of women of reproductive age in the United States have experienced fertility problems.

The woman wrote: “My James was not much of a carpenter and one day when I was putting Robert in his crib, the whole thing broke! I managed to catch Robert in time so no harm [was] done thankfully. After the story, I made a joke along the lines of Sarah never [had] that problem if they have children because Robert actually is a carpenter.”

She explained the joke didn’t go down well as Sarah had recently discovered she is infertile and not even IVF will help them start a family.

“She burst into tears and asked me why I was being so cruel. I was taken aback and asked her what was wrong as I certainly hadn’t meant to upset her and I was sorry if I had.

“I apologized profusely and said if I had known I would never have made a joke about it. James and I struggled with having Robert and we’re never able to give him siblings so I felt awful that I had hurt Sarah like that.”

How Does Infertility Affect Mental Health?

Linda Kondilis, Ph.D., who is a reproductive health psychologist, told Newsweek how infertility can affect one’s mental health.

“People who have a diagnosis of infertility often feel very alone,” she said. “They can feel like an outsider in their own community, especially when around people who are pregnant or have children.

“The isolation also occurs because of the lack of community support. Disenfranchised grief is the type of grief that is not seen and therefore not supported by your community. People do not realize how much people with infertility are grieving. Frequent comments are “just relax,” “it will happen” or “have you tried _____?” The lack of validation that these individuals face is linked to their emotional well-being.”

Kondilis said that the heartbreaking diagnosis can lead to anxiety and depression along with affecting relationships.

“A diagnosis like infertility can be devastating to your emotional well-being,” she said. “When people struggle with difficult emotions it makes it more difficult for them to communicate and function in their relationships in the same capacity. It makes relationships with friends, family, and partners more challenging.”

What Do the Comments Say?

More than 855 people have commented on the post, many of which are backing the mom.

The top comment, which has received 19,600 upvotes, said: “You made a joke about your late husband’s carpentry skills, not your daughter-in-law’s infertility as you were completely unaware of their situation. That Sarah has chosen to make you a villain to everyone who will listen says more about her than it does you.”

Another person said: “They’re probably both in a very delicate and vulnerable state. It’s pretty common for people to pressure people their age [and married] about kids, both purposefully and accidentally. Best case this was an isolated incident for mil, but others have been pressuring and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Worst case, OP [original poster] has been making comments about kids over and over, and is playing dumb about her behavior towards them.”

“I can understand her being sensitive, but from what you’ve written it sounds like her perception of the situation is completely twisted. I would definitely call your son and try to clarify your side. I’m so sorry….,” another said.

Newsweek, which could not verify the details of the case, reached out to u/aitathrowaway109 for comment.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.